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[That may or may not be a very faint bruise across the bridge of his nose. Elena's arm swing is a little stronger than it used to be and apparently he bruises now which is perfect.]

So how's being in the real world working out for everyone? Scale of zero to zero.

Remember, don't hurt yourselves with those brand new toys.

[Especially you, Elena.]

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[Her expression almost softens before her eyes narrow with skepticism. Old!Ric is gone, now it's just a psycho who wants to kill everyone she loves.]

I'm not falling for that innocent act, Ric. I know what you are now. And it's your fault Tyler's dead.

[The park, really? What's she gonna do, shoot from a swing set?]

Try not to break a nail reloading. [A beat.] Have you seen anything yet?

No, I haven't. Have you? Where are you?

[What he is now?

Okay. Things have kind of gone way beyond joke territory. He knows Tyler's not dead. (Right? Did something happen while he was out?) He just saw him a day ago.

That doesn't stop the quiet that creeps into his voice.] Tyler's dead?

Apartment. I suggest you come join us before another storm drowns you.

[Again, her anger falters. Wouldn't evil!Ric be gloating about this? The guy was a total douche and why would be pretending otherwise? It's not like making friends with them would help him any.]

Klaus is dead, you killed him. [Because everyone else was trying to keep him alive.] So Tyler's dead. [Her voice is tight.]

Give me directions? Or tell me which one or whatever.

[And that's the dam breaking.]

Wait, what? Since when? When the - me? I'm not an expert, but are you sure you're not completely losing your mind?

[This is not the kind of conversation for phones, video or not. Just. Between her and Damon, he doesn't even know what the hell to think anymore.]

[No way. You gotta be kidding him. Look, call Alaric's alter-ego what you want, deceptive isn't one. Rick sucks at lying in both incarnations.]

Scale of calm to murderous, where are you right now?

[And cue her conflicted confusion. Maybe this is old Ric? But how?]

What's the last thing you remember then?

[ABOUT TO THROW HIS PHONE AT A WALL IF SOMEONE DOESN'T START MAKING SENSE.]

I'm at some mild shade of extremely violent if someone doesn't tell me what the hell is going on.

[Like why Caroline thinks he killed Klaus. Or why Damon is taking twenty minutes to realize, hey, this is him.]

[Why is it always him that seems to have a defunct memory?]

Viking cave. Reading runes. Uh. Recent explosion of ghosts? Am I missing something you're not telling me?

[She looks a little more than surprised. That was forever ago, it feels like.]

So... you don't have any murderous urges or whatever?

Seriously? Didn't we move past this I'm-a-bloodthirsty-dick-with-no-humanity phase, brother?

[Don't tell him they're back at that because Damon's gonna throw Stefan to the ground again. Possibly on top of something sharp and wooden.]

No, I just threw them away immediately so I've got no clue what's going on. Of course I read them. What about it?

Edited 2012-07-06 19:15 (UTC)

[All in all, Kingswater isn't the worst dive Stefan's ever been in, which isn't saying much. Few places could rank worse than Monterrey, post-ripper rampage, and the memory still causes a shiver to travel up the back of his neck. He hasn't thought about that in a long time. Maybe he should blame Klaus for bringing it up again.

Or maybe it's this place. Superficially nothing like a turn-of-the-century Mexican village, but the smell is the same anyway. Death.

Stefan backs away from the edge of the building, and looks over to where Alaric is fiddling with his new phone.]

Who are you talking to?

[Besides Klaus?] No! Why would I?

What's going on is that you went on a psychotic rampage trying to kill us all.

[He doesn't remember. What does this mean then? Is his alter-ego just buried back inside again, then? Is he still a vampire? Does he know he's a vampire? How could he not? Damon can't deny he feels inconveniently human right now, but the smell of blood and the taste for it is still thick on his tongue.]

Because you've been on a killing spree lately? [How does he not remember this? Again, she reminds herself that evil!Ric would be gloating right about now.] You have a crazy alter ego and you've been going all psycho, killing anyone who 'tolerates' vampires.

[Alaric doesn't know what he's deserved to be stuck in a broken city with a ripper, but he figures his luck is moderately okay in comparison considering Stefan hasn't ripped his head off. Pretty sure the ring can't heal that.

He almost drops the phone like it's accusatory, tearing his gaze from the screen.] Damon. And Caroline. [Does he even want to bring up that apparently he killed Klaus? There's just. No way. Human, here, and last thing he remembered hearing was Klaus was unkillable.] They're saying I'm supposed to be crazy. Ring any bells?

Edited 2012-07-06 19:23 (UTC)

[Caroline gets the scanned map on their phones sent to her, along with an "L."]

Three floors up, turn left. Don't get lost.

...Caroline.

[There's no hiding the faintly bewildered surprise in his expression as Caroline bounds onto his video screen, all blonde hair and determined cheer. For a split second, all he sees is Lexi, arms folded, with that painfully familiar what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you look as she surveys his latest bloody accident.

The resemblance fades. Guilt and shame stays. Stefan shuts his eyes.]

What are you doing here?

[You're getting to get a shotgun in your face, Damon, if you keep being a dick.] I'll be there soon.

Not possible. Not. Possible. Vervain. I've had vervain on me forever. And, you know. Human. What, did I start building bazookas in my sleep?

[She actually laughs at his question. She gives him an amused glance, despite the topic she brings up next.] I'm really good at being kidnapped, in case you haven't noticed.

[That's like asking him to stop being so good-looking, Caroline.

She gets a little save, and then the video shuts off.]

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